Are you pregnant?...not yet! :) ????

 So Thomas and I had this crazy idea come to us that apparently had been formulating for several years. Surrogacy. I have fairly easy pregnancies which is kind of amazing given how I had 3 miscarriages(one with twins) before Lucy. But Lucy and Tommy were pretty easy going in the womb. So Thomas brought of the idea. We looked into egg donation. I'm too old. We looked into donation for him. Logistically didn't make sense. So I applied to about 10 different agencies. Most of them turned me down because of my miscarriage history and because of the anti-anxiety that I'm on though it's super low dosage. So May 11 I get an email from Gestacy Surrogacy agency and they're ready to proceed forward after I had a an initial phone interview.

For those who don't know what gestational surrogacy is, I'm going to carry the child of another mother and father that are able to produce eggs and sperm, but are not physically capable of carrying the child themselves. Many people react 1 of 2 ways....you're doing what??Q??!? or WOA! That's the most amazing thing I've ever heard! The follow up reaction to the first is "how will I give up a baby?" Answer-it's not mine. I'm just the vessel. I weirdly enough have the perfect personality for it. One of the requirements by most agencies if not all is that you have to have carried your own child successfully. That's for obvious reason. It's also very expensive so they want as little risk with the surrogate as possible. There's extensive background checks both physically, mentally, emotionally, and ob wise. Most women go to the ob because they're pregnant. I had to go to make sure I was ok to get pregnant haha.

Why am I doing this? A few reasons. The first was already mentioned. Relatively easy pregnancies. The second was also kind of mentioned. We've gone through the pain of not being able to have kids of our own at first and wanted to help someone receive that blessing when they themselves are incapable. Third, it compensates really well.

My process was almost stopped because I don't believe in abortion. If there's a heart beat I won't terminate, and that didn't sit well with the first intended parents. I was even asked what if the quality of life wouldn't have been good. Well I've heard plenty of stories of babies that were promised an ill fitting life and turned out fine, so you just don't know. 

The funny part is the fertility center that I'm going through is 5 minutes down the road. When the agency asked me where I lived they were in disbelief because most people have to travel and fly for their appointments. Mine is a 5 minute drive. 

I was told when I was accepted for this journey I was going to have to take birth control and hormone shots in the rear. I donate (or use to) plasma twice a week, so needles weren't exactly awful for me, but I still wasn't thrilled about 2 shots twice a day for 14 weeks.

Had my physical and water ultrasound with the fertility center. I asked why they didn't just go off my natural cycle instead of hormones and they said it was totally possible, but I had to come in regularly for ultrasounds, which I said wasn't a problem because of my close proximity. They said I was physically good except for some minor adhesions in my uterus that had to be removed first, so that meant a minor surgery. I also had some skin growths to get checked out. That was one busy week! The surgery went fine.

 

Fast forward to December 30th. Last day of birth control. Hormone shots start on Tuesday along with baby aspirin every day. I take one hormone on Tuesday and Friday evenings until implantation, then I start another hormone in the mornings as well as suppositories in the mornings. I do those for another 10 weeks then I graduate to the OB office. 

The hope is 10 days after implantation I take a blood test to determine if I'm pregnant. The 2 days after implantation are called "Princess Days". I have to keep everything lowwwwww key to make sure implantation takes. This should be an interesting challenge given I have 2 squirely kids. Any takers for sitters that day? haha. 

 If all goes well I should be having another couple's baby in October. Fingers crossed!

So they'll always remember

 As we're studying Moses and the children of Israel this week in Come Follow Me, I'm once again dumb founded and annoyed that the children of Israel saw miracle after miracle and never learned to trust the Lord. They complained because they were slaves, I give that one to them. But they were delivered out of Egypt and spared many of the plagues if they did what Moses told them to. They complained that they'd been led out of Egypt only for Pharoh to come after them and they said it would have been better we were slaves, cuz then we had food and they felt trapped. They had a serious case of the hangries. So God delivered them through the Red Sea on dry ground and drowned the Egpytians. They complained about water. Granted they were thirsty. 

In each case, I get their plight and so did God. But their attitude sucked. Why do we have to go through this? Instead, they should have asked, Lord, please help us. We know you can. One is hopeful, faithful, and grateful. It recognizes trust in God, of which He asks for all the time because we for some reason have a hard time believing we can. 

The last few years have been a real challenge for us. Me with my awesome but in many ways needy kids. My anxiety and insecurities as a mom. Thomas's rough goes with work. Never feeling quite at home where we were. Seemingly unending colds. The obvious ugly quarantine with Covid...I swear I still have ptsd from quarantine. Just always have to be out. But instead of that part I like to think of the current part.

Thomas and I have always been the type of people to say, Lord, we will do what you want, where you want, when you want. But if it's possible, can we go somewhere else? Soon after that prayer, Thomas found a much better job, we found a house close to his work and mine, sold our house in west valley, I took up facepainting and love it! The kids made new friends and it's an overall much better set up.

The Lord put us here. It's a bit strenuous in some ways but we're overall much happier.

Perspective has been a good teacher lately. There's a war going on between Ukraine and Russia. My extended family experienced a death that kicked everyone to the ground and broke everyone's heart because there was no one more pure than her. Closer family of mine hurt their back and is in constant pain, and a friend of theirs is going through some real tough life changing situations. My troubles seem so small.

I don't want to be like the children of Israel and forget who brought me through my hard times, and led me to the good, and can bring me through the coming fights. 

 

I wish I was less intereste