During my post-partem agitation I learned something I believe to be crucial. The Relief Society motto in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints starts off by saying "We are daughters of God and our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction." ...Or something like that. What I learned is we have to FEEL like our lives have meaning, purpose, and direction as well as actually have them, because if we don't FEEL it, we're doomed on the inside....or so I've observed.
I asked people for a year to two straight about how do you find meaning in motherhood and being a homemaker. I knew the answer would have to be personal through revelation as what is important to me is not to someone else.
I was a mom of one firecracker and filling my days was terrifying. I was lead to ask my sister-in-law Jocelyn about the minky blankets she sews and found that to be a PASSION. At first it was down right difficult and seemingly impossible. But the Lord likes to work with impossible and 7 mini minky blankets later, I was chizzled enough to do them and make money. Now I make them without blinking an eye and I'm always interested in helping those who want to learn and join in do so.
I remember watching Greatest showman thinking "I don't have a million dream keeping me awake". I felt like a purposely drifter. I watched Julie and Julia thinking this was the exact process I went through. Now I'm a minky mama making, Lime scooter juicin', Roadie gig drivin' woman with two awesome kids and a knock out hubby that have always been that way...I just couldn't see past my purposeless blinders.
If you feel depressed...pray to find that hobby that gives you purpose. It will truly save your life. I know the Lord lives and guides me daily because I couldn't do it all without his nudges in the right directions.
Oh and be careful. Small things lead to big things. For good or not good.
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