It only seems fitting...

Disclaimer- I'm not sure if it randomly assigns me a background, but the set up on preview looked kind of up my alley any way so I'm happy about that. 

In less than a month from today Thomas and I will celebrate our 3rd anniversary. In that time I've graduated from BYUI, Thomas and I worked 2 summers in Jackson, I got a job as a high school art teacher, we've had 3 miscarriages-1 resulting in a D&C, and Thomas got the no from the the seminary department therefore leaving him pretty puzzled as to where to go next. I serve as Visiting teaching coordinator and Thomas is the executive secretary. 

I was thinking on Sunday what each miscarriage has taught me. 

1- I read an article in the Ensign back when I was a single in Ft Collins, CO that when a couple miscarries, you shouldn't judge them or ask them when they're going to try again. My first thought to that was, who would judge a couple who miscarries? It's not their fault. And it's not my business when they decide to try again. 
       In hind sight, I should go back and read that because I would need the advice given. Lesson learned?- Don't dismiss counsel because it doesn't apply to you. Chances are, it's going to, or could sooner than you'd think.( I had a recent go with that same idea recently, stay tuned)
       2nd lesson learned- People are so compassionate, and fortunately people didn't ask if there was anything they could do, they just shared their sympathies and remarked on my good outlook. I was grateful for that.

2- 
The second miscarriage taught me and is still teaching me not to be bitter towards other women when they are blessed with successful pregnancies (sometimes I still struggle with that, so if I've been abnormally quiet towards you, please forgive me. I'm just taking time to be happy for you while trying not to get angry and sad.) 
The lesson of tender mercies came as well. The second time around (btw, this one they told me in the first ultrasound that I was either having twins, or I was about to miscarry) the doctors said not to even worry about trying for at least 3 months. Something in my mind switched off and I wasn't baby hungry. So much in fact (here comes the tender mercy) that when I went to a sacrament meeting that was having 3 baby blessings, I felt total peace with the situation. I recognized that was a different response to when there was a couple in our ward about a year ago that was blessing their baby, my eyes welled up and I wondered if I'd have our family there for one. I'm not the self-wallowing type....at least not more than momentarily, so please know, I'm ok 98% of the time :)
I  did take a really big blood test called Factor V Liden to see if I had a genetic blood clotting disorder that a cousin of mine has, and found out I don't have it.

3- The miscarriage that happened just before Thanksgiving taught me or blessed me with the ability to mourn the night it started happening, and then in the doctors office I was all business. I was there purely for answers and I was in research mode. 

I switched doctors and obgyn offices completely and so far I love this new doctor. I recommend him to Rexburg people for sure. Dr Cameron Codd at Seasons. He met with me and was very kind, but matter of fact and said he was going to do everything in his power to make sure my next pregnancy worked. He said he was curious as to if something was blocking my uterus from maintaining pregnancies so he scheduled me for a test that involved a 3-d ultrasound. I also had a really good ultrasound tech, Whitney. Turns out they saw some sort of deviation in my uterus and they scheduled me for surgery. 
      I have almost completely healed from said surgery that happened last Wednesday. That surgery revealed that, what we thought was just a growth of cells dangling in the middle of my uterus catching embryos that were trying to go with no nutrients, was actually a HILL that was taking up a 3rd of my uterus. So they performed a hysteroscopic metroplasty (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sel0YLN_goI)-for those of you medically savy/curious people, here's a video of the gist of what they did to me but not me personally. 

They also had a second surgeon take a camera through my belly button to make sure the knife didn't puncture my uterus, so I'm still healing there but it's fine unless I touch it. 
Coming out of anesthesia was fun. They put me on some knock-out stuff, anti nausea, and anti secretion stuff, plus a catheter. So when I woke up my mouth was super dry, I felt nauseated, and going to the bathroom was near impossible, though I'll spare you the details, except for is was one of my reoccuring living nightmares.

I fortunately had some awesome ward members bring food, including my neighbor Cassie who brought me a slice of toast in bed. One of the other side effects was co2 gas was trying to escape through my body after being used to puff me up, and it caused a lovely not in my right shoulder so painful I couldn't touch it until Friday morning. 

I am sooo grateful though because now I have no obstruction in my uterus and Thomas and I are hopeful that this was the thing stopping my pregnancies from progressing past 8 weeks. Wish us luck when the time is right!

Part 2-

We had a great Valentines Day. We went to the store together (one of my favorite things ever, I think cuz it's so colorful and organized), we just spend the day together and also went with Anna and Andrew to the duck park to feed bread to the ducks.  

 Then we went to this interesting lecture on finding mayan culture in the Book of Mormon, and then we went to a masquerade ball all dolled up. Thomas was so patient with me as a dance partner. We've determined that we know the same moves, but call them different things, and I stink at following. Pictures will come when we get them. 

Part 3-

Remember that lesson heard in yesteryears, but didn't feel applicable to me personally? Well, that would be Elder Bednar's devotional "Things as they really are". Boy did he had prophetic sight on that topic for the world. He warned that we shouldn't spend so much time in the virtual world that we become addicted. He said Satan wants us to misuse our bodies and social media does that by erasing the need to exist in the real world. When I heard it I thought of the dude I was dating and his like of video games. What I didn't think of (because I had such a busy life back then) was that Facebook would be such a time sucker. Back then I was in culinary school full time, going to institute and hanging out with a boyfriend and my groupies. I had no need for it. 

My life is full and rewarding, and I love being with my hubby Thomas..the most patient, forgiving, enduring and endearing person I've ever met. But I have this knack for getting things done at such a fast rate that I need to fill my time, even after a full day at school. 
This does suggest that since I have the time, it can be spent doing scripture study, exercise or beautifying my home. What it means is discipline. But I think it's good for all of us. 


Well, this was going to be lesson learned through miscarriage, but it ended up being a lot more. Now you're clued in if you've been out of the loop the last little bit. :)