If you're not taken care of it's hard to take care of.

           As most of you know I'm a high school art teacher. This last trimester I was made aware of several students and their intense struggles. I myself went through a doozy when I was about 15 that led to spending a night being badgered by detectives for 4 hours. I won't go into those details, suffice it to say I'm not a total stranger to intense hardship at a young age, so I could relate to these kids. Some of these kids had court dates for things they had done, terrible things that had happened to them, and 1 even tried to take their own life. Because of these experiences I was reminded of a few things.

Maslow's hierarchy of needs

     According to Abraham Maslow, each person has a hierarchy of needs that need to be met before was can reach self-actualization...in lay man's terms, if the physiological needs are met we are capable of dealing with the safety and security needs and up and so on. I've seen this in the lives of my students, family, and myself.

     My students for the most part are all met with the physiological, but several of my students have family and stability issues, making it near impossible to teach them about creative things because their saftey and stability needs interfere with love and belonging, and many if none of them have very good self-esteem or self-worth, and with all those issues it's like asking for a million dollars from these kids to think about art or school in general.


     Thomas and I went and did sealings at the temple today and the thought came to mind that Maslow's hierarchy of needs applies to spiritual well being as well as environmental. People being interviewed for baptism are asked if they are keeping the commandments. If they aren't having the spirit with them will be impossible. Young men and women preparing to serve missions are asked if there is anything out of order in their lives because when they get out in the field, their issues will eat them alive and serving the Lord will be impossible. Temple recommend interviews ask the same thing because being the Lord's house and being unclean is the worst feeling you can experience and thus you will rob yourself of being taught marvelous truths. We are always encouraged to see our bishops and clear up our lives' spiritual issues if things in our lives are out of whack. We shy away from the counsel because we are scared and ashamed. But if we have the basic of needs met, but our safety and security needs aren't met we have a very difficult time seeing past them, and the spirit has a hard time speaking to us when our hearts are clouded with worry.
I saw it in the lives of people I taught. They weren't ready for the gospel because they felt so bogged down with the needs of a temporal life that bringing them closer to Christ was impossible.

   Please take the time to go through the hierarchy of needs and figure out which ones you need help with. There are resources for all of them. It will help you so much.


Because I was taken care of....

I am so incredibly grateful for the self-worth that the Lord helped me develop through His Gospel, Young Women's program (though many times that was a refining fire because I wasn't always the most popular girl; I had an ugly stage. I'm sure we all remember junior high.) and the music and program of EFY(Especially for Youth). They can all be summed up I think by the phrase from The Help," You is kind, you is smart, you is important."
     I was taught to be kind and loving and Christ-like to the best of my ability. People typically respond positively to kindness, I know I sure do. I remember Brittany Jensen Hoover saw me on campus one day when it had been really rough, listened to my story of a bad day, and later that day made me cookies and dropped them off on a heart shaped plate. You can't help but feel worthwhile when someone will go out of their way to do kind things.
    I was taught to get an education. My mom is a junior high teacher and my dad teaches dental courses and flying, and is an awesome life-changing home teacher. Though school is painstakingly difficult for Thomas and at times seems pointless, I'll always remember Pres. Hinckley telling us to get as much education as we can, women specifically so we can take care of our families if the need arose. Knowing things makes you feel important. Being able to talk about lots of things with other people helps you connect to others and appreciate your situation.
   I was taught specifically from my Heavenly Father both directly and indirectly that I am important.
Because of that knowledge I take care of myself and when I was dating and now that I'm married I didn't allow myself to be placed in situations that would jeopardize my virtue. I wouldn't kiss a guy unless I was dating him. I don't expect everyone to have the same standards as me, I just attest that they made me the strong individual I am. I'm grateful to have had my needs met because I have felt the difference that unresolution brings.

We are what we look at

Lastly, I mentioned EFY earlier and one of the lectures I went to was about our surroundings. The sister who taught it said that we become what we stare at daily. She told a story of a friend of hers that lost her husband at sea and she never wanted her children to join the Navy because of it. She was dumbfounded when all of our children wanted to join the Navy and when she asked them why they said it was because all growing up there were pictures of the ocean, ships, and their father in the navy around their home.
     There's a direct correlation to why the sealer at every sealing I've been to gives the new couple a picture of the temple to have in their house and temple attendance. You are what you stare at.
My students have tried to argue with me that what they see and listen to doesn't effect them. Try it for yourself. What do you have on your walls? Are the positive? Are they negative?
 For those of you struggling with self worth, write on a notecard or sticky note positive things about you, and I guarantee you won't feel worthless for much longer.