Successful mommying with two big things

I've had a rough couple months in the mommy category but I'll tell you what's made a big difference.

Realistic expectations and flexibility.

My biggest annoyance with myself was being a mom that yelled. I wanted to react better and it just seemed to never get better. It made it difficult in the idea of having another kid. Well, something clicked one day and I tried to be patient and loving, and I went with Little miss to the store and we were that classic mom and kid in the store with tantrums. I got to the point where I sternly said I didn't care if people looked at me unapprovingly because this is how I had to handle it in the moment. Something clicked with her and she calmed down just a bit. But the best part was going to the car in the rain and her bent under my jacket to stay out of the rain, then in the carseat all buckled and I said," Mommy's sorry for getting mad. Can you forgive her?" and she sweetly smiled and said "yea!" and I followed up with "Do you love mommy?" and she replied the same sweet "yea!"
Make up is almost better than wanting to be perfectly calm all the time.
Opposition in all things is a true principle. It makes the sweet sweeter even if the sour is more sour.

Flexibility. My biggest fear is never having something planned or those plans falling through and having to come up with stuff. Well, last week instead of freaking out when plans fell through I just became ok with staying home and reading or playing with her.
God is flexible with a lot of things. He even had a back up plan starting with Nephi because Joseph was going to cave to pressure and lose the manuscript.

Be flexible and have a back up plan. Expect things are probably going to be change.

Motherhood is coming easier

My biggest fear for the future was that I wasn't going to be a good mom because kids were just big question marks. I swear babies could see right through me...them and horses. haha

I've officially been a full time mom for over a year now and I've gone through every emotion from "this is so fun" to "what do I do with another full day" to "how do people have multiples?"

Along that time frame I was also trying to get painting commissions or be a private art teacher. I didn't get any business. None. I also applied to be an art teacher for Michaels crafts and that didn't happen. I applied for VIPKID and am still able to do a second interview but it hasn't felt right. Either way I have determined bringing an income is not what I'm supposed to do. Being a mom is. For me, that's what I'm supposed to do.
Something clicked in my mind a few days ago to help with this.

I determined that if I was to be a full time mom then I should embrace it, but I felt like someone had turned an invisible key inside me and that's what made me feel confident about life now.

So I seek every opportunity to be a homemaker. My goal is to provide a haven for my family but physically and spiritually. I know it's not a popular path and like I said a day or so ago when you ask pinterest for ideas on homemaking its top 2 hits are "work from home part time" and make your own essential oils". Even pinterest is trying to make this life all about making money.

I don't like to say I'm a stay at home mom, because I like to be out with people doing soul enriching things. That's what I want for Lucy. Home is our place to relax and rest and rejuvenate. 

Google knows alot, but not all

I was listening to the conference talk for our spiritual development and learning. He mentioned that people often discredit information if it's not immediately accessible. When it comes to gaining a testimony you can't just ask Google if the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. It will give you articles that will probably direct you to others accounts and mix it with both testimonies that it is true  along with those of anti Mormon literature or just information about the church . But  it can't speak to your heart. Google can tell you what a whale sounds like but it can't give you the spiritual bed rock that confirms that Jesus Christ lives, the book of Mormon is true, Joseph Smith was called of God, and the only true source of truth is taught by the spirit.

Yes, Google is totally indispensable. But it can't hold a candle to the spirit.

lessons from watercolor class

I got to teach watercolor to our ward's yw last night and a couple things were interesting to me.

I told the girls the number one rule was not to compare your art to anyone else's, especially mine because I've been doing it for so long and it wouldn't be fair.

The things that really stuck out to me were one of the leaders and one of the girls. Both sat and stared for most of the activity at their painting without doing much to it. I had been walking around in case anyone needed help and gave suggestions every now and then. The amusing part was the leader had me there to help her and didn't want to do it because she was so nervous that she'd mess it up. With 10 minutes left of the activity she finally put color to the paper, but still didn't like how it turned out because it wasn't perfect.

I thought instantly that I wonder if there are times when we hold back from doing something because we are terrified of messing up and don't think to ask for help from Heavenly Father. I mean, I was right there waiting and ready to help and she was paralyzed to try.

The other girl finally raised her hand when I asked if anyone was struggling to know how to do something and I showed her how to blend a sky with vibrant colors. She was so impressed and surprised and then became more courageous. She progressed because she was willing to try and ask for help.

I thought they were interesting analogies.