It's been almost a month

 It was a crazy month since baby uber's final ride. And the ride after was probably just as wild. 

I came home and slept a lot. I also had a headache that I felt like a crown and I couldn't really move my neck much. My blood pressure though was the source of crazy times. There were times where my bp was 180/100 or something ridiculous. They always throw those numbers at you and most like me have no idea what they mean. Well...those numbers usually mean a seizure or a stroke. (Part of me wonders if I did have a very slight stroke at some point that wasn't physically obvious because in hind sight, I was reading to me kids early on in the healing process and I couldn't remember what I just read to them. And finishing sentences was a real challenge for the first weeks or two after recovery....poor Thomas haha. He already hears the same story 80 times. I just attributed it to left over pregger brain.Anyway..

 I was monitoring my blood pressure from home and Ana told me to go to the ER if the numbers got above 160/90. That happened the Tuesday, week following. I felt fine but went in. They iv'd me and gave me a shot of labetalol which is what Ana asked if they'd given me. But at one point my bp hit the really high numbers and......nothing...after an hour of them trying to get me transferred to L & D for an overnight observation stay, they kind of figured it out.

After staying the night, the dr finally came to see me and said he wanted me to stay another day or 2. On the inside I about lost my mind. Ana convinced him to send me home for monitoring cuz my bp would never calm down under the amount of frustration I had.

So I went home for observation and to calm down. Another observation Ana made was how skinny I looked. I hadn't thought about it but when they weighed me at my follow up appt with the dr (at which he said my bp was great! I think he changed his tune lol.) I was 136 lbs....for perspective, I went in to be induced at 170 lbs. 35 lbs lighter in a week, people!!! Needless to say, the surrogacy/diuretics plan has nothing on Jenny Craig. The nurse told me to stop taking those immediately or I'd disappear lol.

So I stopped Oxycodone and did acetometophine. I took a chunk of a caffeine pill and my headache went away. I was on a steroid for inflammation. I was on labetalol for at least 10 days. Needless to say I probably appeared to be a crack addict to the average Joe lol.

The weirdest part is my stomach, though it's healing well...it feels fake to the touch, and almost numb still.

My blood pressure has been good for at least 10+ days which is a relief. I don't tire nearly as easily and my stomach doesn't feel sore after lots of walking anymore. I still can't bounce or jump much without discomfort. 

I've been asked several times if it was worth it. Yes. No one gets through this life unscathed and I was able to help a family grow in a super cool, let's get real..miraculous way. I was a living organ donor. Most people have to die before they "see" the fruits of their labor. I see mine daily of FB, and she's adorable. And the potential she has will make it worth it over again. On the other hand, people tell me "What a gift you have given. You're amazing!" While I know it's true, I'm always left without words. 

Would I do it again? Yes. Will I? ...after the csec experience...probably not, but like my friend Xenna says, "It's been a great journey. If I die today, I haven't been cheated."

Baby Uber's final ride

 Thomas and I went to the hospital at 11 pm. That's when my L&D nurse Ana would be working, and if she wasn't, she'd hand-picked the nurses. It's funny. Any normal given night Thomas and I have to really work on getting to bed at a reasonable hour. But when you know you have to be somewhere at 11 pm, it's a lot harder to stay awake lol. Thomas at the registration desk pretending to sleep.

 

 

Parents arrived and we got situated in our rooms. 

Ana was not only the charge nurse, but also was one of two ladies that helped give me the hormone injections at the beginning and is basically a L&D hero/

You can't really see the shirt but it say "Baby uber" and has a prego lady followed by 2 baby footprints and then two different colored hearts for the parents. On the back it says #surrogate-all designed by Kirsten Gorski.

Once I got garbed up and hooked to to IVs and what not we sat around and talked for probably a good 2 hours. We finally sent them to their room to get some sleep since the next 16 years will probably be filled with very little of that lol.

My epidural was interesting this time around. I could still feel my legs and the contractions but they only felt like the braxton hicks ones. An interesting effect of this one was if I had to lay down my blood pressure tanked and I got super nauseous, tingly, and then almost instantly fell asleep. And weirdly, the anti-nausea stuff they gave me didn't do a thing. (turns out after all was said and done, there was a bunch of moms that night that responded in similar ways to the epidural. So maybe that batch was made differently. Fast forward to finding out she was breach...Dr. was supposed to come at 5 to break my water but didn't show up til 9. Little girl was such a mover that they couldn't keep track of her heart beat even though she was clearly moving. At one point it took a good 15 minutes to find her. When the dr. did come he decided to take an ultrasound. Low and behold....she was breach...

Dr gave me and Thomas a few options. He said we could lay me flat and try aversion to get her back in position. I was not too excited for that given how I'd reacted to laying down so far. Plus there was no guarantee is would work, though he felt fairly certain it would. The other option was to do C-section which we knew was a possibility anyway because she had a higher amount of amniotic fluid. Backing up to a few days before, I'd asked Thomas to give me a blessing and in it it mentioned that if anything went wrong, the drs would know what to do. So with that in mind, I looked the dr straight in the eye and asked him what his gut told him. He said C-section. The only reason I wasn't crazy about it apart from a longer recovery was knowing that my blood pressure would for sure tank on the OR table and I'd get sick and be stuck like that til it was done.

Alas, we told the parents that was the plan of action and we got Thomas and me all garbed up. They had to give me some weirdo medicine shot glass that tasted like spicy sweet tarts. BLEHHGHGH. They wheeled me into the OR and I immediately felt claustrophobic. They laid me all the way down and I was find for about 30 seconds...then it started to come. Tingly arms which they splayed out on either side, wave of nausea, seeing stars..all that jazz. They gave me more numbing medicine and went from my waist down to chest down, making it feel like I couldn't inhale or exhale. Plus they had a blue curtain above my chest and it contributed to the calustrophia. The nausea got to me at least three times and let me tell you...throwing up is bad enough when you're able to do it in a sink of something, but laying down the only place you have is to your side. I'll let you paint the rest of the picture in your head lol.  20-30 minutes we were like this.

I would hear occasional "Man that's a lot of fluid...." But I know I wasn't in any danger cuz they were talking about vacations they had planned and while they were stitching me up, they may have been just tying quilts based on their demeanor hahaha. I was kind of delirious for it but I heard," There's a leg...oh, here comes another leg...oh there's the head...oh and a hand....oh wait...she's hanging on for dear life and doesn't want to let you go....oh there we go...about 15 seconds later I heard the crying. This "star fish" as I refer to her in that moment (and later Dr agreed that's exactly what she was like hahaha) made me feel like Izma from emperor's new groove....No, I wasn't crying tears of joy...all I could think was, too much noise and I quote in Izma. ( Let me clarify, I got to see her about 5 hours later and she is so stinking cute, so no worries...I'm not a monster haha.)

 

 

 Backing up to when I first told our parents that I was going to do surrogacy, their biggest concern was how was I going to give this baby up. Let me tell you....in that moment...nothing has ever been easier, which worked out superbly for her parents who wanted her with every fiber of their being, and rightfully so. (I'm ecstatic for them and humbled I got to do this for them.)

(Full disclosure. That smile was a flat out lie. Thomas took this literally seconds after they finished the c-section. This would be a more accurate depiction of how I was.

 

 

When I was fully back in my right mind I shared my true feelings about certain staff that I'd met along the journey and let's just say the nurses and the dr all broke out in hysterics and agreed with me, and to quote Forest Gump, "And, that's all I have to say bout' that."

 

I got wheeled back to my room and started to feel more and more like me. Now I just had to let the epidural wear off for the next few hours. I was so excited because I've planned for months that I was going to have sushi right away. Well when you give birth, that's true.....when you have a C-section...you have to wait almost 24 hours before eating anything serious just to make sure your intestines and stuff work properly. So Jello, cran-apple juice, and saltines were the delicacy of preference. Although they managed to taste like filet mignon cuz I hadn't eaten since like 10 the night before. 

We got to see my kids and my in laws which was fabulous because they're who I thought of during the terrible awful c-section. It honestly probably would have been just fine if I hadn't reacted so weird to the epidural and my blood pressure didn't cause me so much trouble. 

 

Recovery was going great. We got sleep except for the incessant beeping of monitors and newborns that I could hear down the hall. It was so fun to see the parents with their little lady.  

 

The snafoos started the next morning when I decided to take my anti-anxiety from before the process. Apparently they didn't mix well with the meds they were giving me for recovery and I got a gnarly headache that I'm still treating and nausea that we eventually found a good behind the ear patch for. 

But the not being able to eat real food, plus taking awesome pain killers (which totally gave me a false sense of security on how well I was healing, cuz I didn't feel anything with them.) made for a very rough next 36 hours or so. Vicious cycle of take pain meds but you need to have something in your stomach, but food makes you nauseous, and the stuff they give you make me an absolute zombie. I literally woke up Tuesday to take meds, eat something quick for the meds, and then promptly fell asleep. No one but my nurses heard from me that whole day. 

We finally found the happy medium for meds and food. I was eventually able to get up by myself and make it to the restroom. When I finally checked out I was able to walk myself to the car while holding Thomas's arm. 

The whole experience from when I was accepted by the agency in May to the whirlwind of a 12 year anniversary for Thomas was in many ways like a mission. We saw many miracles. We had some truly scary moments. But overall it was one of the coolest things I've ever been able to do, or will do in my life. 

I couldn't have done it without Thomas. I thought back often about the guys I dated and wondered how cool they would have been with it all...and I think, no one would have been a better partner through this than him. 

I also couldn't have done it emotionally or physically with my dear L&D nurse, Ana. She was there through injections, funny dr office stories, and overall support. I also couldn't have done it without my friend Mary, as she also helped with injections.

I couldn't have done it without the help of my ward family. From meals to babysitting to just checking up on me. 

I'm also grateful for the open-mindedness of my immediate family. 

And most importantly, for the Lord. He helped in ways I know I don't even know about, as is His MO.

We are not hard-wired to faults. We are hard-wired to Follow Him.

 A close family member uses this excuse for anyone with a bad habit in our family. "They are just hard-wired that way." I never agreed with it, and now I understand why.

Each of those members of our family that they use that excuse for were also baptized making a covenant to follow Christ and be like Him, but more importantly, they were told to receive the Holy Ghost. THAT is the moment they started becoming "hard-wired", but not for sin, but for following the Savior.

The big tide of confusion in our world today amongst many others is that of gender dysphoria or also same- gender attraction and the million offshoots that Satan has attached to them and creates more each day. The idea that you are attracted to the same gender. Or feeling like you're a man, trapped in a woman's body. Or that you're not attracted to either gender physically. They call them gay, lesbian, transgender, queer, and a million other names. They've even tried to label heterosexuals as CIS gender-meaning, what you were assigned at birth, they got it right. There is no such thing as that title. There's women and there's men. Everything else is a man-made lie, however convincing or real they may seem. 

Our genders are eternal because our spirits our eternal. You can't change your spirit in that way they try to medically change their gender or even anatomy. You CAN however listen to the wrong influence, Satan, for so long, that you believe his lies(I wish I could make the "h" on "his" even tinier, because he's just that meaningless.) 

I heard of a Priests Quorum advisor that taught 2 hard-core drug addicts during his mission, unwillingly at first. But after promising to teach with them only if they cleaned their room so the Spirit could be there. The one listened and wanted to be baptized and become clean but he said he was too addicted, that it meant everything to him and he couldn't change. They came back a while later to be told he was gone, most likely dead from an overdose. It wasn't until months later he got a call from the young man's mom saying, through tears, that as a missionary, this advisor had saved her sons life because he felt the truth of the Spirit, hitch-hiked home across the country to his parents, asked for help, got admitted to a rehab facility, got clean, and was baptized. The addiction is powerful, but not more than the Savior's Grace from His Atonement.

Several close family members, past and present, suffer from anxiety, including myself. But during a particularly difficult time a tender young family member was given a blessing that I'll never forget, and I won't let them forget it either. It said they was specifically given anxiety from the Lord to bring them closer to Him. 

If we looked at all our temptations, struggles, weaknesses, and sins like that, we'd never be victim to them. This sweet soul will be baptized in a few months and will receive the Holy Ghost. I plan to emphasize that that Gift will help them overcome everything and anything, as I've already told them in the past.

Another close family member met their worst fear on their mission. They met a woman who after a minute with her, sensed the gal had given in to homosexual feelings (who was an inactive member and had one point served a mission, too) and my family member became scared because they too, have struggled with some form of those feelings for a long time. They shared it with their mission president's wife and she didn't judge them, but affirmed it could happen and those feelings were powerful, but she didn't say REAL. 

Later this same family member would marry their spouse and they would see any weakness as just that, a weakness, not a TRAIT. They don't own us, we don't own them. This person confidently states they have no "closet" to come out of and never will, because they refuse to let their soul be hard-wired to something it's not. 

Another dear family member used to say they had "a firery-Italian side"and "it" wasn't afraid to let people "have it". But this person learned that that wasn't their true identity and has learned to harness it, push it down, and listen to the Spirit instead, and funny enough as extinguished many "fires" in others because they didn't let that "firery" side be the winner. They called it bossing your brain...I call it, the Spirit.

If my kids ever come to me saying they're gay, or trans, or drug addicts, or porn addicts, or anorexic-I will never say, Ok, I love you, will always love you, but let's work with the Spirit to train their souls to know the truth and fight the lies.

Transfer #2-What a week that 9 days was!

 I was scheduled for transfer #2 Monday, June 26th. Well, Sunday morning before at 4:30 a.m. I wake up because I can't breathe very well. It continues like this til I get up and feed the kids at around 7. Then I felt nauseous and dizzy and I told Thomas I think it best if I went to the ER. He agreed. So I showed up just before 8 am with labored breathing and a tight chest. They got me a breathing treatment, took blood samples, x-rays of my chest, ct scans to rule out blood clots, called their oncologist because my white blood count was 25 (normal is like 3-10). That guy said it was highly unlikely it's cancer because my wbc a month ago was totally normal and cancer doesn't happen that fast. Or at least he highly doubted it. So they thought it was an infection, but from what they didn't know. They said they'd start me on an antibiotic and I told them I was already taking a Zpak as part of the surrogacy process along with the hormones. So that stumped them. They thought maybe I was reacting to the hormones, but I thought that wasn't right because I've taken the hormones before 6 months ago with no reactions. (My dad thought it was possible, just like the second round of an immunization your body "attacks" because it recognizes it this time.)The last thought they had was pericarditis, which is the lining outside your heart becomes inflamed, which in my case wasn't life threatening because it was mild and I should just take a couple ibuprofen to reduce the inflamation....which I told him I couldn't taken that because it counteracts with the hormones and pregnancy...leaving him to say...well?....you're just going to be irritated for a while then, sorry. lol. 

So I called my fertility clinic to run the whole thing by them and the dr there wasn't worried about the blood count being a complication, we'd check the count again in a week, and proceed anyway. With the one condition that I'd continue taking valium for the next 3 days every 8 hours....oh boy.

Monday came and I felt better. I scared everyone pretty good, though. I took the valium a little earlier before the transfer this time so it wouldn't tickle when they checked my bladder with the ultrasound. It's an interesting drug. You're not loopy, necessarily, but just very relaxed and slow....kind of like Oogway from Kung Fu Panda. Or Flash the Sloth from Zootopia.

Dr came in and showed us a picture of the embryo and it was a lot different this time because it was breaking out of it's shell. So he was very encouraged by that. But I told the IP mom that I was staying neutral until the blood test. Transfer went well and I went home and slept and ate and slept for 3 days. 

Princess day 2 was also Thomas's birthday, and I'd orchestrated with his boss, a neighbor, Grandma Margaret, and Ihop that I was taking him for a breakfast birthday before work....but since I was still on valium...I wasn't allowed to drive. So his boss told him she needed him to swing by Ihop on the way to work for a company breakfast and told "everyone" not to eat that morning before they came. Then I called Ihop the night before and explained my hubby was coming to pick up a fake order for his company and they were happy to play along. I called again when I was lucid enough in the morning to confirm they got the memo from the night before. They hadn't but were happy to play along.

So Thomas left to "pick up the order",  I got my shot for the morning, then immediately my neighbor picked me and the kids up with balloons and Reeses for Thomas and drove to Grandma Margaret's so she could watch my kids (when we got to her place, Ihop called and asked if I was close because Thomas had been there quite a while and they were looking bad for not "having the order ready" yet. Told them we were just around the corner). So my neighbor then drives me to Ihop down the road and Thomas texts me 2 blocks away saying, "I don't think my boss knows it's my birthday, but here I am at Ihop, about to pick up my favorite breakfast, and just thinking, God knows each of us." Me and my neighbor about died laughing, but hey, Thomas wasn't wrong! Heheh. So we get there and I walk in slowly in balloons and Reeses and say," Surprise!!!" I'm the order you're picking up. It was all a hoax to take you to breakfast and your boss and Ihop were in on it." He gave me a surprised, happy hug, called me a turkey, and we had a good time, especially since I was kind of wobbly from the Valium. And walking me to the car with me on his arm, and leftovers and balloons in his other hand was quite entertaining. He says I kept swaying the other way and he had to pull me back and I kept saying I was fine. lol. So back to Gma Margaret's to have her drive us back and off Thomas went to work haha. Then the kids went to a sitter's and I....went to sleep. lol

I finally felt normal by Saturday morning so we did house stuff, then went to the pool, then met up with my brother, Ryan, and his friend and we played in the park and talked. 

Monday my blood count came back and it was just slightly elevated at 11 where normal is 10.3 highest, so it was definitely calming down. Yay :) Normal week and I carried the attitude this transfer that if it took....awesome!....if it didn't...I'd shrug and say, oh well. 

Thursday morning was the blood test and for the first time, my thoughts weren't complying with that mindset. But I told myself there was no use fretting until I had the result. But I was cranky and short because I was secretly nervous...after all..the 1st time didn't work. I texted my coordinator from the Fertility center asking her the favor of sounding upbeat no matter the news. 

She called on my way to Gma Margaret's with the kids and her first question was,"When am I NOT upbeat and perky with you???" We had a good giggle and I said it was true, she always was, but since I'd had a sad tone with the last bad news last transfer and I was sooooooo bummed, I just wanted it upbeat either way, and I quickly said, "So just give it to me straight..." She replied, well you're fine, because it worked. You're pregnant!" ................."Wait....it worked???!" and she said to not sound so surprised. I told her I was because the last time it didn't work! She said my hCg was 171 which was great, and we'd have a follow up next Thursday to see if the levels were rising, then we'd have an ultrasound to in a few weeks to check for a heart beat. My head heard very little of that because it was still stuck on "You're pregnant."  

So I plan to still be chill. But I am 4 weeks and 3 days. We'll see what happens! Fingers crossed!

A day with a Spiritual High

 As I'd mentioned in my recent post about the temple, I was growing weary of the temple being common place for me instead of the sanctuary it's dedicated to be. So I tried to go hungry, spiritually. I had an impression the night before to look for family members that needed work done, specifically baptisms. I found 4 women. Instead of printing them out, I was lazy and decided to take my phone to the temple and have them do it there. First of all, I headed to Mt. Timpanogos temple. The night before I tried to book the appointment. The whole day was "full". I thought that was weird. Backing up. That morning I had text my friend Kirsten about how excited I was for her that her RM son was coming home that day and I wished I could be a fly on the wall because homecomings are so special. She invited me to be there if I could and even thought my recording the event on her phone would be helpful. So I planned to show up around noon...back to the temple...Low and behold, I showed up at Timp and it was closed. So I figured, I'll just try and sneak in at the Provo City Center temple. Sure enough, they were happy to take me because at that moment, it wasn't busy. So after I got my clothing, I pulled out my phone and tried to pull up the number for them to print off, but because it was in the basement of the temple, reception is a little dodgy. Fine by me usually, I hate using my phone at the temple, and usually leave it in the car. After a minute, I got it pulled up, got my names printed, and went and got dressed. A normal, peaceful smile that accompanies when I do baptisms was there. I headed to the chapel and no sooner did I sit down, a worker came in and asked if anyone spoke Spanish. I said I did. They said to come because they needed help translating.

I met an elderly Hermana Gonzalez. I met her on the front desk and began translating. I felt a little nervous because I don't get much chance to use my Spanish much anymore, but fortunately it came back well enough. She told me she had her aunt's name with her and had until a certain time to do what she could before she had to be back outside. I explained it to the front desk people and they were happy to accommodate even without an appointment, and they planned out on her name card what she could do that day. We went together to the clothing issue and got her taken care of, then to the locker room and got her set up.  While she dressed, I went and checked to make sure they had the ordinance card in Spanish so she'd understand.  Close enough :) I walked with her slowly since she had a cane and guided her to the font where they told us to go. The person baptizing her spoke broken Spanish and the person confirming could speak Portuguese. Close enough :) We had her go first, and then I went. I helped put her wet things away so she didn't have to juggle her cane and possibly slip. When she was finally dressed I confirmed the time she needed to be outside and realized I'd misunderstood the time she'd said. We migrated to clothing rental and got her clothes. Then we made our way to the dressing rooms and I explained to the sisters working initiatory that she only spoke Spanish and again, there was a sister that spoke Portuguese. :) Close enough. I check to see if she had time to make a session and it started in 2 minutes...another day :) I went back to her stall and she opened the door and said she thought the shoes might be too small. But I said we could try them and I'd exchange them if need be. She sat down in her changing stall and bent down and put her shoes on. Perfect fit. Not only was she pleasantly surprised, but I held back tears because I felt like the Savior at Peter's feet. I helped her to initiatory and they were ready and waiting for her, once again accommodating with no appointment. I explained it was too short of time to do a session after but she could go to the Celestial room after and bid her goodbye. 

 I still only know her as Hermana Gonzalez, but I walked out on a high. I not only got to perform work for my family but I was needed to help someone else. The Lord used my timing to meet His needs. And then the air port :)

I picked up Tommy and may or may not have broken the sound barrier to get to the air port before the elder arrived, but Tommy and I made it with 10 minutes to spare. He walked through the gate with 3 other missionaries and the wing of the air port terminal erupted with applause and hugs. I got to record on Kirsten's phone, while holding Tommy, and see the hugs, and help take pictures. I told Tommy is he chose to serve a mission one day this is what it'd be like for him. I seemed ok with that that. Their RM son hugged family member after family member and then got to me and looked happy but confused like "I'm sorry I don't remember you, should I?" I explained poorly he didn't know me and not to worry. A simple "I'm in your ward, I'm Dana Sevy, welcome home" would have probably sufficed, but oh well :D

 I left the airport in much less of a hurry but still on a high. It was a good day :)

The Lord uses our timing to make His ends meet. So slow down, and just go with it. :D

"I have CONfidENCE in Me!"

When Maria was assigned to the Von Trapp family, she was not confident in her ability to govern seven children. But she sang up her gumption in the now famous song from Sound of Music. She was clearly nervous when she met the captain but still showed confidence.

 It dawned on me tonight, as a culminating thought after some recent encounters I've had across the spectrum, that confidence is attractive, while insecurity is something we avoid. I'm not talking about pomp. No one likes Gilderoy Lockhart, but everyone loves Dumbledore or Tonks, and the students were wild for Lupin. No one gave a lick for Quirrell though..because he portrayed no confidence...although it was a cover...but that's besides the point.

When we show confidence in ourselves, it's inspiring. We want a confident doctor when we're in need of a diagnosis. We want a confident teacher when we're learning. We love a confident performer. We pay big money to appreciate confidence!

I thought even further that it's a sign of gratitude to our Heavenly Father when we're confident in what He's helped us to create in ourselves. And we are ever grateful for the Savior who showed confidence when before this life said, "Here I Am, send Me." Can you imagine how that scene could have played out differently if Satan was the only one who showed confidence? We would literally we be doomed. But Christ wasn't just wishful in His confidence. He knew who He was, and from Whom He came, and what He was capable of.

Our society would have you believe, and perhaps even our culture in the Latter Day Saints, seems to think that we're not supposed to be proud. So we swing the other direction and self-deprecate.  What good does that do anyone? We can't accept a compliment on an outfit that we purposefully tried to put forth effort into? As moms we almost glorify that leggings/workout/messy hair look. 

I met with an individual this week for work and though they had an impressive repertoire, they admitted they were very insecure, and sadly it showed. But I also daily see another individual that is the most confident parent, confident in their work, in their hobbies, and their calling. And that individual is inspiring to be around and everyone wants to be better because of their influence. And people know they can turn to them for help.

I had an experience last week with face painting that took my confidence from sky high to ground zero, and it had nothing to do with my abilities, but everything to do with my supplies and lack of preparation, which I knew were easily remedied. Funny thing was I went back to the park gigs the next day and everyone said what they always do, "Wow, this set-up is genius. You're so awesome to charge people what they think is fair. Oh you're quick! How cute are these designs!" And the tips put my confidence back where it belongs. But I need to have that confidence always because I know what I do, I'm good at, and it brings joy to people.

So I prayed to Heavenly Father on a drive home tonight to be more confident. And He answered by reminding me that if I have confidence in Christ, then confidence in myself will flow naturally. And He's constantly trying to instill confidence in us through modern prophets. We are beloved children of God with limitless potential, and yet we often fight that notion, like it's noble to do so.

I have some close contacts in my life that are constantly putting themselves down, and to be frank, it's a bit depressing to talk to them. On the other hand, I see confident posts from Colorado friends that are motivational speaker and chiropractor by trade, and though I know they both have some depressing stuff in their life right now, they exude confidence!

So my challenge to me and anyone else reading this, is exude confidence. Start by recognizing the things you are great at. Personally thank God for those things, and help the world be happier. Change your thoughts and you'll change your life. 

Cravings Bistro

 

Cravings Bistro–Ritzy Grilled Cheese Goodness

By Dana Sevy

Cravings Bistro is a combination of rustic barn decor meets hipster, with plenty of space for seating. Located across the street from Ugly’s Closet Thrift shop in downtown Pleasant Grove, their menu has everything from classic grilled cheese to ritzy creations for reasonable prices. 

I was recommended the “sampler” which is actually a “secret” menu item. It’s a finger sandwich of each of their “classics” menu. 

Disclaimer: I’m not a huge grilled cheese fan because it doesn’t fill me up. Short back story: when I was in Europe I wouldn’t try a lot of the food they’re famous for because I thought, “I can make pasta at home, so I don’t want to pay for it.” This left me very hungry in Europe. I felt the same way about paying for an out-to-eat grilled cheese. I’m glad I tried it anyway! 

Here are my favorites from “The Sampler.” The ABC: it stands for Apple, bacon, and cheddar. Sweet and salty combined for a great crunch. I could eat a whole one of those! 

The Gourmet is next. It’s definitely fancy Grilled cheese meets artichoke spinach dip, one of my favorite appetizers. A whole one of these too, please!

The Tomato Pesto is nice and light and full of flavor. I loved the cute little tomato soup that they give you for dipping on the side. It was not your average Campbell’s tomato canned soup. 

I think the combination that surprised me the most was their Swiss Days: ham, pickle, and caramelized onion mayo. It was delish! 

Keep in mind this was just the sampler. They have a plethora of other yummy sounding menu items, but I’m just one gal who’s got to maintain her girlish figure.

Cravings draws people from all over the valley with its cheesy goodness. As I was waiting for my order I got to speak with a few customers. Katera Barlow of Saratoga Springs says,” It’s my favorite place to go. I can’t get enough of the pepperoni melt. You have to be patient because it takes a while, but it’s so worth it.”