Motherhood is coming easier

My biggest fear for the future was that I wasn't going to be a good mom because kids were just big question marks. I swear babies could see right through me...them and horses. haha

I've officially been a full time mom for over a year now and I've gone through every emotion from "this is so fun" to "what do I do with another full day" to "how do people have multiples?"

Along that time frame I was also trying to get painting commissions or be a private art teacher. I didn't get any business. None. I also applied to be an art teacher for Michaels crafts and that didn't happen. I applied for VIPKID and am still able to do a second interview but it hasn't felt right. Either way I have determined bringing an income is not what I'm supposed to do. Being a mom is. For me, that's what I'm supposed to do.
Something clicked in my mind a few days ago to help with this.

I determined that if I was to be a full time mom then I should embrace it, but I felt like someone had turned an invisible key inside me and that's what made me feel confident about life now.

So I seek every opportunity to be a homemaker. My goal is to provide a haven for my family but physically and spiritually. I know it's not a popular path and like I said a day or so ago when you ask pinterest for ideas on homemaking its top 2 hits are "work from home part time" and make your own essential oils". Even pinterest is trying to make this life all about making money.

I don't like to say I'm a stay at home mom, because I like to be out with people doing soul enriching things. That's what I want for Lucy. Home is our place to relax and rest and rejuvenate. 

Google knows alot, but not all

I was listening to the conference talk for our spiritual development and learning. He mentioned that people often discredit information if it's not immediately accessible. When it comes to gaining a testimony you can't just ask Google if the gospel of Jesus Christ is true. It will give you articles that will probably direct you to others accounts and mix it with both testimonies that it is true  along with those of anti Mormon literature or just information about the church . But  it can't speak to your heart. Google can tell you what a whale sounds like but it can't give you the spiritual bed rock that confirms that Jesus Christ lives, the book of Mormon is true, Joseph Smith was called of God, and the only true source of truth is taught by the spirit.

Yes, Google is totally indispensable. But it can't hold a candle to the spirit.

lessons from watercolor class

I got to teach watercolor to our ward's yw last night and a couple things were interesting to me.

I told the girls the number one rule was not to compare your art to anyone else's, especially mine because I've been doing it for so long and it wouldn't be fair.

The things that really stuck out to me were one of the leaders and one of the girls. Both sat and stared for most of the activity at their painting without doing much to it. I had been walking around in case anyone needed help and gave suggestions every now and then. The amusing part was the leader had me there to help her and didn't want to do it because she was so nervous that she'd mess it up. With 10 minutes left of the activity she finally put color to the paper, but still didn't like how it turned out because it wasn't perfect.

I thought instantly that I wonder if there are times when we hold back from doing something because we are terrified of messing up and don't think to ask for help from Heavenly Father. I mean, I was right there waiting and ready to help and she was paralyzed to try.

The other girl finally raised her hand when I asked if anyone was struggling to know how to do something and I showed her how to blend a sky with vibrant colors. She was so impressed and surprised and then became more courageous. She progressed because she was willing to try and ask for help.

I thought they were interesting analogies.

Moving sale!!!!

moving sale lots of awesome stuff. 8-noon. Sept 24
2581 s 1400 w Rexburg 83440
first come first serve, if interested please just come by.

irst come first serve, if interested please just come by.

 

Bomb.com pasta with italian sausage and queso fresco

So I didn't take the picture but the recipe is a total hit of my own creation and it was BOMB.
Momma JoAnn Sevy's sugu sauce-use what you need for the pasta then freeze the rest :)
(((1 onion chopped fine but not minced
1 tbl garlic minced
1 can tomato pure-use this can for 1 can of water
1 can tomato sauce
couple handlefulls parsley
1 tbl salt/pep
1 tbl sugar(my own twist on the recipe)
Cook onion and garlic down. Add the rest, boil, then simmer til desired thickness.)))

3 cups pasta of your preference
italian sausage-cooked
**queso fresco-(the whole wheel)
1 tbl sweet basil
1 tbl parsley
Cook all together. The longer it sits the better! This lasted us like 3 days. Total crowd pleaser. :D

Not a full day at church but still a full day in the gospel

This may not be a big deal to some but I'm a really literal person and as most who know me would agree I'm obedient to a fault...That makes going to church for the full 3 hours..or the fact that I haven't attended a full block in months a very weird and confusing reality. It's not for lack of wanting to be there. I've just joined the club of moms in the church that going to church with a baby is rough. I enjoy it, mommy hood, but I've had to lower my expectations of the physical attendance and put more emphasis on the spiritual attendance.

I called my sister asking how church works with babies because Lucy used to let me get through all three hours, then it dropped to through most of sunday school, and now she has enough patience for the sacrament and maybe the rest of that meeting before she melts down. She said to just do your best because that's all anyone can ask.

I felt guilty for not going the whole time when I knew there are moms and dads that have done this for eons. My situation is peculiar though because Thomas is in a singles ward bishopric and therefore not readily available to just take Lucy during the meetings.

I started to ask myself what was the point of going to church for me. Not in a defeatist mindset, but more like why am I going. Is it so I can say I was physically there though I wasn't getting any of the lessons and Lucy was screaming thus ending in me going home and putting her down for a nap? What's the reason we go to church? The main reason is to partake of the sacrament. The rest of the meetings are for the edifying of the members...since my mom in law broke her foot she has been using most of her time to prepare her gospel doctrine lessons. She runs them by me and figures out what direction she is supposed to teach the lesson and I get the lesson for the week in a more intimate setting.

I decided that Sundays I would have no expectations. I would accept how ever long Lucy slept in the morning, take her to the temple grounds before church if there was time, be there for the sacrament and then stay for as much of the meeting, getting out of it what I could, and then when she was in total hysterics I would take her home. Then when home and during her before-church naps I would study the lessons and read from other gospel works.

I want to stay with Lucy and perhaps it would be easier to stay if I weren't the only mom at church, but either way I'm still trying to be as committed as I can. I don't want to start any bad habits and when she is older and able to stay awake for a little longer you can believe I'll be back the whole time.

Sunday is supposed to be a day of rest. I don't know what that is supposed to mean because just like in the mission, Sunday is anything but a day of rest. So I have to really work and plan for it in order to be restful. It's ironic but it's quiet, Lucy is sleeping, I've been able to partake of the sacrament and treasure it more because that is sometimes all I get. I hope to return back soon for the full time and be physically active as well as spiritually active, but for now, what is in my heart will have to do.

I was given a blessing once that told me many have been wounded due to Satan's lies and my heart shall feel and know forgiveness. I had a thought come to me this morning that I will experience the temptations that others go through so that I will feel for those that struggle and know forgiveness. I don't act on the temptations I face but in my mind going home early from church is a rough choice but now I understand that people have all kinds of circumstances and hopefully hearts are in the right place. Those who know me well know I love to participate and add insights and learn from the lessons at church but I'm not able to be there right now, so one on one time with the Spirit will be my lessons.

Colds, sunburns, sins, and choices.

I had an ahaha moment that applies to two things we can suffer from in this world...colds and sunburns. In both cases as soon as we have them we want them GONE as quick as we got them.

We should view ours sins the same way. We should eagerly run to the Savior to be cleansed from our weaknesses and shortcomings.

Instead, I've noticed the trend today is, "I was born this way, I can't change." We would never say that about a cold or a sunburn. We would never let the cold or sunburn own us and hang onto it for dear life.

In conjunction with these thoughts they piggy back President Monson's last talk in conference that history turns on small hinges, being choices.

I've had recent experience that when we make a choice to do something different, our lives change. Good choices lead to good habits, bad choices lead to enslavement.

I made it a goal two weeks ago to delete fb off my phone and for the most part, I've done decent with it. The times I slipped was when I chose to put it back on my phone and it sucked my time away. When I didn't have it on my phone I found myself doing other things that made me feel more productive. I been strongly tempted to go back to a phone that only receives calls and texts, except I like my notes app and being able to reference pinterest at the store.

I also made it a goal to do a daily exercise. I'm surprised how easily this one has happened because I hate exercise, but it's actually getting easier.

I'm also reading physical books, and it's helping me break free from constant technology which is stealing our attention.

If we do something, it will happen. If we don't, nothing changes.

I also made it a goal when I'm sitting and need to get something from across the room, I used to think, "I don't want to get up and get it ALLLL the way over there." Now I just get up and I'm not surprisingly more active. It would drive me nuts when my students needed something and wouldn't get up and get it because it required effort...I noticed they became MORE sluggish and those that just got up were happier, more productive, and furthered their talents. The mindset and actions are totally interconnected. 

Not having success at something in your life? Make the physical changes that aren't happening. Otherwise, stay a prisoner.

Once you sin, eagerly run to have it cleansed. Don't hold onto it. It will change you from the master to a slave.